TENNESSEE

Since I'm super awesome and fail horribly at updating my blog--
(Sorry for that, by the way)

I have survived my first semester of college.  More than survived, actually.  In spite of the fact that I rarely sleep, and sometimes spend hours wondering if anyone knows I'm alive, I love my life.

My roommates are fantastic. 



My FHE group is delightful.



Football games are insanely fun.



My roommate Sara and I are best best friends.



I have learned a lot about how to not sleep and continue to act like I have slept, how to make myself do all my schoolwork before anything else, how to be a fangirl in all aspects of my life, how to make sure I know what's important and set my priorities properly, how to keep the gospel always at the top of my priorities list, how to study for 5 hours straight, how to laugh at myself, how to make other people laugh at me, and how to be truly beautiful, regardless of anyone else's opinions or tastes, and how Heavenly Father never ever leaves me alone. 

And now, hasta la vista, Provo.  Tomorrow I embark on a grand return adventure to the land of Franklin, Tennessee.

To all my dear friends in Tennessee, I am VERY excited to see you again.  As marvelous as my collegiate life is, I miss you guys.  I make it a goal to see as many of you as I can for as long as I can upon my return. 

So assuming I don't die on the plane or in the airport, I will see you all soon.  It will be marvelous to step back in to my old life for a few weeks. 



Tennessee, I will see you in approximately 24 hours.

Bad Wolf Bay

really, what can I say?

why?
i hope bananas stop making me cry soon.

Homesick for Provo

This weekend my roommate Emily and I took a trip up to Salt Lake City.  She's a convert, and today was the one-year anniversary of her baptism.  She had never seen the Salt Lake temple before, so we decided to go on her special day.  We got to walk all around Temple Square and see the Joseph Smith movie in the Legacy Theater.  It was an awesome spiritual experience being able to discuss the gospel with her and feel the beautiful peace that abounds on temple grounds. 

Here are some beautiful pictures of our fun adventure:

 The Christus statue in the Visitor's Center.

 Posing on the wedding picture pedestal in front of the temple!

 The reflection pool--my personal favorite!

This picture was taken by the cutest couple who had just gotten married in the Salt Lake temple a month before.  They were so nice and fun to talk to!

What I learned:  The gospel is AWESOME.  It really is.  I love having friends who feel the same way I do about the temple and the scriptures and the prophets and apostles.  And...Provo is the best.  When I saw the Y on the mountain and the SWKT, I just felt like I was back home.  ...I LOVE college.

P.S.  Although we did take 2 buses and a monorail there and back, we did not get lost!  We both consider this a monumental personal acheivement.





I wish I was this talented.

This is CRAZY.  I could listen to it over and over again.  In fact, I have.  The entire time I've been working on my homework.

General Reflections and Musings

Things I have learned in my first two weeks at college:

1.  Some things about college are pretty similar to high school, but in a good way.

2.  35,000 people is a LOT of people.

3.  Not having a temple recommend is a horrible thing.

4.  There are always boys in my apartment.

5.  The aforementioned boys really like cookies.

6.  It's a lot easier to not do homework than it is to do it.

7.  It's helpful to have friends in your classes who know how to help you.

8.  Calculus without plus tens, puns, and corny jokes is different but not necessarily bad.

9.  1:00 A.M. is the best time to have a heart-to-heart with your roomates in the kitchen (whilst eating cookies.)

10.  Campus isn't nearly as big or as scary as it seems.

11.  My scriptures are my best friend.

12.  Sometimes Heavenly Father has different plans for you than you have for yourself.  And He always knows best.

13.  It's really easy to listen attentively when your professor is British.

14.  When I am myself all the time, people end up liking me for it.

15.  My Heavenly Father loves me and knows me and cares about me more than I can comprehend.

16.  I love BYU.  I love my ward and my roommates and my classes and my professors and my friends and the campus and sitting reading my textbooks in the grass and singing along with good musicians and concerts in parking garages and having long conversations with people I don't know and falling in love with my life.

P.S. Sorry there are no pictures.  I will take some and put them up soon.  PROMISE.

On My Way

Today, I took the final things down from my wall.

I took everything off my shelves and my floor and my closet.

My room is completely empty.  Just a shell of what it was, when it was still mine.

Everything I know and love is packed into rubbermaid tubs, stacked in the car.

It's scary and thrilling and unreal and exciting and weird.

I am on my way to a completely new world.

And I can't wait.

Why I Love Summer

Last week I got to do several really fun things:

1. Register for college classes at 1:00 A.M.  (Maybe this was more stressful than fun.  But the concept of college is really exciting.)  I actually got into all but one of the classes I wanted. 

2. Finish a GREAT book series: Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson.  It's well-written, and the author is LDS.  I strongly recommend it to anyone looking for a good book.

3. Watch some really great movies.  A lot of them.  Here are just a few:

4. Plan for camp, teach the camp song, meet with my cabin moms...!

5.Go to a dance! Even if I am technically too old, it was still really fun!



The End.

Today I took my last AP test.  EVER.  That makes 7 in all, somewhere from 28-30 hours of testing for hopefully 45 hours of college credit. 

You don't know how happy I am about this.

I Feel Empty and Lost (at least for the next 5 minutes)

What am I supposed to do?
Ever?
I just finished Season 4, Episode 6 of Lark Rise.  Such a strange despondency has settled over me that I hardly know what to do. 
I'll miss everyone so much.
Like him.

And him.

And her.

And him.

And her.

And most especially her.

I love this show and am so sad it's over.  But I'll find a new BBC miniseries soon enough.



Lyrical Melodies

These are the lyrics to my song I sang yesterday, in case anyone was curious.
(I got second place! (: )

My Worst Enemy

I'm way too good at fooling myself
Don't even know half of what I'm saying aloud
At times I think it came from somewhere else

It's too easy to change my own mind
I talk myself out of doing what's good
Then wish I hadn't as I leave my heart behind

I've known that flicker of strength
That moment of resolve
When I'm undeniably sure
But as I go through the day
My comfort seems to dissolve
And I'm as scared as I ever was before

Chorus:
Help me learn to hear your voice
When my thoughts are my worst enemy
Give me the courage to defy
All my fears of the world around me
I'm well aware of what it is I ought to do
But I pull myself so far away from you
When I lie to myself
Help me learn to hear your voice

I wish I'd never learned to justify
Instead of just accepting my mistakes
I tell myself that what I did was right

I swear that this time I'll change
This time I'm sincere
There is nothing I wouldn't do
But now that I'm unsafe
It seems that all I can hear
Are the lies I tell myself are true

Chorus

I cried myself to sleep last night
It's almost routine, it's happened so many times
Because when it's dark and I know I've gone wrong
I'm a stranger to peace with nowhere to belong

The truth inside me tells me I belong in your arms

Chorus

Heritage Halls

Advice for all considering applying to BYU:
TURN YOUR APPLICATION IN EARLY!!!!!  And by EARLY, I mean within 15 days of it being available.
I got one of the last rooms for girls in Heritage Halls yesterday, and today they're all gone.  Every one of them.  I learned too late you pick housing based on how early you turn in your application.  Well, I sure feel bad for the people that don't pick until April 13.  Yikes.  I watched the rooms disappearing and said "I really hope I get Heritage.  I don't even care where at this point.  Just don't let them be all gone!"
And when I logged on yesterday and 4:00 PM MDT, there were only forty-something rooms left. (Now there are none.)

(the blue bed is mine)

So I am an official resident-to-be of Gates Hall.  Not where I had originally planned to be, or even my backup, or even my second, third, or fourth backups.  But I'm just glad to be in Heritage Halls.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR COLLEGE.

Anyone Looks Stupid Compared to Him

I think this kid is pretty amazing.  I mean, he's twelve, and he's working on disproving the big bang theory and augmenting the theory of relativity.  He's in college, and starting next semester, he's ditching the books and becoming a paid research assistant.  He's solving some of the most complex ideas of astrophysics, physics, etc.  He has a math IQ of 170.  Wow, Jacob Barnett.  Way to be smarter than Einstein.

My personal victory that makes me feel like I have some intellectual potential is that I understood what he was explaining in this video.  If you don't know anything about calculus (like my mom) you'll probably be baffled by this.  I promise it's just the vocab that confuses you.  It's really not that hard.  I just think it's incredible that it took me some writing and consulting with my brother to understand this and I was taught it by a 12-year-old. 





I hope you enjoy this as much as I do!

Scholar-ing

I've learned recently that scholarships are some of the most confusing things in the world.  I've gotten conflicting messages, confusing answers, weird stories, all sorts of things that have made me think "AAAH! Why did I ever get myself into this mess?"

Well, today I learned why.

After months of stressing and hoping and having crushed hopes and rebuilding my faith in myself, I have received the BYU Heritage scholarship, which is a 4-year full-tuition scholarship.  As long as I keep my GPA high enough, I won't have to pay a penny in tuition for as long as I am at BYU.  AND on top of this, I have a $4000 National Merit scholarship from my dad's work.  So I really don't have to pay much at all for college.  Only some room and board.  That's it.

I KNOW this is a blessing from Heavenly Father because if anything stresses me out, it's money.  I know He was listening to my prayers and blessed me with these scholarships and the ability to excel in grades and on tests.  I KNOW He loves me!

I'm Going to O'Charley's!

Think of a hard test you've taken.  Then multiply that by 100.  Then add a semi-truck load of pressure.  Then add a loss of appetite, an abnormally high body temperature, and nonstop chills.  Add a little more general irritability, almost crying, shouting at your friends, yelling at your favorite teacher, etc.  Then add at least three hours of test-taking to answer 20 problems.
NOW you know what it is like to have experiened the infamous Test Twelve. 

Yes, I did experience all these things from Monday night until Wednesday afternoon.  But now it's over, and I'm thrilled with the results.
Our teacher bribed us to get onto the list of top 15 high scores of all time (he's been teaching for about 18 years) with O'Charley's gift cards (one student's dad works there.)  The top 15 list started at about an 84 or 85.  Being accustomed to reciving much better grades than this, I was scared by the fact that in 18 years, only 15 students had managed to score above an 85 on Test Twelve (I feel like the capitalizations are necessary to illustrate the horror of the test.)
But he had a lot of faith in us, and was sure that our class could do it, if anyone could.

The results?  After the aforementioned misery, I think 11 people from our graduating class got onto the top 15 list of all time.  That's AMAZING.  He didn't have enough O'Charley's gift cards to give out.
And me personally?  As hard as the test was, I was pretty sure I had done decently on it.  And I wasn't disappointed.  I landed a 102.5, putting me 4th of all time.  AND I beat the most brilliant math genius in my class by 9 WHOLE POINTS!  I'm pretty proud of myself.
So my friend and I (she got seventh of all time!) are going to O'Charley's!!!

This just goes to show what some studying and bribery can do for you!

You know you get a LOT of extra credit when...

Today I finally accomplished my goal for the 3rd quarter.  I have officially gone down in history (in PHS AP Calculus history, that is) as having one of the top 5 highest grades in a quarter.  I'm the first student to have weasled his or her way onto this list since 2006. 
I bet you're curious as to what my grade is, aren't you?
My grade for the third quarter is a 114.43.  (That's out of 100.) 
And I'm not trying to brag.  I'm just trying to share the absurdity.  I'm not even THAT good at calculus.  I'm just really good at getting bonus questions on tests and bonus questions in class. 
You know your teacher gives a ridiculous amount of extra credit when your grade is 14.43 points above the amount of possible points.
But that's not even the craziest part:
I'm only #5 on the list.

Best. Day. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like the past several years of my life have just reached their culmination.  I've been waiting for this day for seriously as long as I can remember.  As long as I've been able to read.  Probably as long as I've been able to talk.

I JUST GOT ACCEPTED TO BYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't stop grinning like a stupid idiot.  I'm just SO happy I could cry.  Or laugh.  Or cry and laugh and sing and dance around my house even though no one else is awake. 

This, my dear friends, is my future.

FEBRUARY 23, 2011 IS OFFICIALLY THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I just wanted to post some of my favorite scriptures about love:

But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love. (2 Nephi 1:15)

And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God. (Moroni 8:26)

I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear. (Moroni 8:16)

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. (2 Nephi 31:20)

Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work. (Alma 26:15)

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (Moroni 7:45)

I hope you remember our Heavenly Father's love for us as you celebrate this holiday!

First Time I've Ever Hated Snow

Patriot Idol is canceled and rescheduled for Thursday.

And I'm not very happy about it.

Maybe I wouldn't be so frustrated if it hadn't been canceled three times last year.  In fact, last year's never happened, because they kept canceling it and we ran out of school year. 

But at least it's still happening. 

I hope to see you there on Thursday now!

Eleven Days

So maybe this is a little arrogant of me, but I'm going to do it anyway.  And I know that if I don't advertise myself, no one will. 

There are exactly eleven days until Patriot Idol 3, Songwriter's Edition.  February 7, 7:00. Page High School Auditorium.  Please come. 

Last time no one I invited came except a few friends from school and my parents, and I won 3rd place.  So if there are actually people there to vote for me, who knows what could happen!

(This is going to sound cocky again) The song I'm singing is a beautiful song, and I think a very relatable song.  I'm going to do my very best, and I would love it if any of you were there. 

Monday, February 7.  7:00.  Page High School Auditorium. 

I love you all!

Sunday Message

What more can I say?

In the mildest language, I adore you.

I finished Season 4, Episode 2 of Lark Rise to Candleford last night, and I must say, there is one thing I can't get off my mind. 

Hints:
(a) It comes from the preview of the next episode.

(b) It's a person.

(c) I cannot take him seriously no matter how hard I try.

If you still haven't guessed it, then here:

It's Mr. Guppy! (His real name is Burn Gorman.) He is delightfully absurd.  I fell in love with him the first time I saw Bleak House, and every other movie he's in just makes me smile. 
But the best thing about his role in Lark Rise to Candleford is that he is a preacher.  He looked so ridiculous in the 45-second preview that I laughed for most of it, and a little more after.   I cannot wait to see him in this role next week!

Here are some more pictures of how absurd he is:

And just because he looks so funny, here's a picture of Mr. Turveydrop.

If you haven't seen Bleak House, I highly recommend it.  It has a great plot, a crazy modgepodge cast of characters, and some really good acting. (The same goes for Lark Rise to Candleford, but that one's a lot longer...)

Let it snow!!

This is what it looks like today in my backyard.  I love snow. 
More correctly, I love sitting in my house sipping hot chocolate looking at the snow and thinking, "Good thing I don't have to be outside right now."

I think my favorite thing about the snow is the fact that everything is white.  There is all this ugly, dead grass and poky weeds and things that are all covered by the beautiful, sparkling, pure snow.  To me, it's a parallel to the atonement, like the story about the park and airport built on top of a landfill.  No matter what mistakes we've made, no matter how hideous our past, Christ can cover us with beautiful white snow. 
That is what I will be thinking today as I sit inside my warm house, looking at the beautiful blanket of white that coats the entire world.

T! E! M! What does that spell? TEM!

Today I accomplished the first half of my latest goal: auditioning for a role in "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown."

I got to:
a) bemoan the fact that Charlie Brown had still not filled my supper dish, and I was dying a slow and agonizing death as I lay in hopeless starving despair on top of my (invisible) doghouse.
b) suggest to my older brother, Charlie Brown, that he should be a bench manager.  That way he could tell the bench what to do and decide where to place the bench as we entered the playing field.
c) give Charlie Brown a survey about my crabbiness (unanswered), personality (A: forceful), ability to get along with other people (None of the Above from "poor, fair, good and excellent"), and beauty (A: stunning out of choices "A: stunning, B: mysterious, and C: intoxicating.")  I have to say I learned a fair bit about myself.
d) Try to cheer "Give me a T! T! Give me an E! E! Give me an A! A! Give me an M! M! What does that spell? TEAM!" with the leader spelling team t-e-m. 

Can I just say that I love auditioning for plays?