I absolutely loved the CES devotional from Elder Holland tonight. Every time I'm extra excited to hear someone talk, I feel like they pick a topic that's especially pertinent to me right at that moment, like Holland did tonight.
It's always really hard for me to be outright about sharing the gospel. Especially when I'm in some situations where it seems that everyone else scoffs at the morals or standards I'm clinging to. It's so scary for me to turn and tell them that I believe it. I hate feeling like I'm imposing my beliefs on someone else or like I'm causing conflict or contention.
Which is why I hung onto every word that left Elder Holland's mouth today. I loved what he said in response to doubts about "enforcing" others to believe and act the way we do. I recently read this talk from him and it reminded me why it is that we keep the strong moral commandments that we do. And then tonight he said that there are some principles that need to be defended wherever they are found, because they aren't social or political issues but eternal ones, and it is far better for us to offend men than to offend the Lord.
That really helped me put everything back into a proper perspective. We have the truth, and those around us are, unwittingly or not, offending God--how can we just stand by and say nothing, or decide that it's not our place to judge or interfere? If we truly love God, we will take care to make sure His children follow His commandments and resist defiling and abusing the power He has granted to us on Earth.
That being said, it's important to note that Elder Holland cautions us to do so without demeaning those who transgress or believe differently than we do. We need to respond to the call to build Zion all around us, and we need to do so with compassion, understanding, and great charity.
I feel so motivated right now to stand up for what I believe, and to defend the standards I hold dear even when people will insult and belittle me.
My very favorite thing about this talk today, and about everything that's been happening around me lately, was the mention of fears and his divine assurance that they will be dissolved.
Let me tell you a little story. On Thursday night, being bored out of my mind, I ventured upstairs to visit my good friend Mallory. We had brownies and watched a movie and had a good time. I was just leaving when we started talking, I can't even remember what about, and I came back in and we talked for a long time. About a few things, but mostly about being afraid and overcoming our fears. It was a wonderful talk and it put the things I was feeling afraid of or intimidated by into a good perspective. (Erica and I talked a bit on this same subject on Friday.)
Suffice it to say that I've just had the topic of overcoming fears on my mind for the last few days. Then today in Sunday School, our teacher shared with us a list he had made on his mission of the four things he noticed interfere with our ability to feel the influence of the spirit:
1. Contention
2. Fears
3. Pride
4. Being too rushed
And there it was again! Fear! Being afraid of things, whether it's a fear that we won't get answers to our prayers, fear that we aren't qualified to share the gospel, fear of talking to people we don't know, fear of sticking ourselves out there in order to serve others, etc., is something that inhibits our ability to receive answers to our prayers and to feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
So you can imagine how I felt when Elder Holland gave us an apostolic promise that our personal fears will be lifted. Heavenly Father knew exactly what was a concern in my life and sent four people within the last four days to give me gospel-centered advice and comfort on that precise subject. Nothing could ever convince me that He is not very real and that He does not love me so very much.
I want to keep this feeling of courage, of testimony in the standards and teachings of the gospel, of an all-eclipsing desire to serve and honor God, of boldness to live and testify the truth in all my words and deeds, even in my appearance, for as long as I can.
I was reminded today that nothing, nothing in the whole world makes me feel as strong, as beloved, as brave, as capable, as beautiful, as humble, as talented, as fearless as does the gospel. I am more grateful for it and the truths it offers me than words have the power to communicate.
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