At the Edge

I know what I like and what I want to be and do.

That's pretty simple.  And after 21 years, I know myself pretty well.

But then every once in a while, I have powerful, crazy desires.  Feelings far beyond my own capacity to feel and miles outside my comfort zone.  I find myself wanting to be something greater and better than little old me ever could have imagined.  That lately is an overwhelming desire to travel.  

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm pretty content to just stay at home curled up with a good book or some trusty engineering problems.  I've never been much for wild adventures or risks.  

But now, de repente, I just have to go.  

And so, in less than five months, I'm going to get on an airplane and go to China, and go running all over the country for two months.

but really, who can blame me?

And after that, maybe Bolivia, or Paraguay, or Peru, or Belize, or the Dominican Republic.

I don't know what is happening to me.  I am swallowed up in an overwhelming love and appreciation for this beautiful world in which we live.  For so many cultures, languages, personalities, opinions, and people.  For a loving Father in Heaven who gave us all so many opportunities to learn, grow, serve, and love.  For the influence of the Holy Spirit who changes our hearts and desires so that we can truly become what that perfect Father wants us to be.

It kind of reminds me of this poem by the French poet Guillaume Apollinaire:

“Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.” “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!” “Come to the edge.”  And they came.  And he pushed them.   And they flew. So here I go to fly and become all that my Father would have me be.