I Feel Empty and Lost (at least for the next 5 minutes)

What am I supposed to do?
Ever?
I just finished Season 4, Episode 6 of Lark Rise.  Such a strange despondency has settled over me that I hardly know what to do. 
I'll miss everyone so much.
Like him.

And him.

And her.

And him.

And her.

And most especially her.

I love this show and am so sad it's over.  But I'll find a new BBC miniseries soon enough.



Lyrical Melodies

These are the lyrics to my song I sang yesterday, in case anyone was curious.
(I got second place! (: )

My Worst Enemy

I'm way too good at fooling myself
Don't even know half of what I'm saying aloud
At times I think it came from somewhere else

It's too easy to change my own mind
I talk myself out of doing what's good
Then wish I hadn't as I leave my heart behind

I've known that flicker of strength
That moment of resolve
When I'm undeniably sure
But as I go through the day
My comfort seems to dissolve
And I'm as scared as I ever was before

Chorus:
Help me learn to hear your voice
When my thoughts are my worst enemy
Give me the courage to defy
All my fears of the world around me
I'm well aware of what it is I ought to do
But I pull myself so far away from you
When I lie to myself
Help me learn to hear your voice

I wish I'd never learned to justify
Instead of just accepting my mistakes
I tell myself that what I did was right

I swear that this time I'll change
This time I'm sincere
There is nothing I wouldn't do
But now that I'm unsafe
It seems that all I can hear
Are the lies I tell myself are true

Chorus

I cried myself to sleep last night
It's almost routine, it's happened so many times
Because when it's dark and I know I've gone wrong
I'm a stranger to peace with nowhere to belong

The truth inside me tells me I belong in your arms

Chorus

Heritage Halls

Advice for all considering applying to BYU:
TURN YOUR APPLICATION IN EARLY!!!!!  And by EARLY, I mean within 15 days of it being available.
I got one of the last rooms for girls in Heritage Halls yesterday, and today they're all gone.  Every one of them.  I learned too late you pick housing based on how early you turn in your application.  Well, I sure feel bad for the people that don't pick until April 13.  Yikes.  I watched the rooms disappearing and said "I really hope I get Heritage.  I don't even care where at this point.  Just don't let them be all gone!"
And when I logged on yesterday and 4:00 PM MDT, there were only forty-something rooms left. (Now there are none.)

(the blue bed is mine)

So I am an official resident-to-be of Gates Hall.  Not where I had originally planned to be, or even my backup, or even my second, third, or fourth backups.  But I'm just glad to be in Heritage Halls.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR COLLEGE.